While we were waiting for Mark to come back with an estimate, we gave our plans to several other contractors. I found three of them on ServiceMagic.com. One of them seemed pretty reasonable, but the other two weren't that great. The first contractor to meet with us had to have been from a different galaxy entirely. His bid was so off the wall it was amusing. I present the bid here, in its entirety. If he ever Googles his name, though, I don't want the goofball contractor to find this site and sue me for making fun of him, so I'll just hypothetically call him "Mike," just because that's really his name and it's easier than remembering something else. Googling just "Mike" returns 21 million hits. It's not likely he'll find this site and sue me for making fun of him.
The contractor, Mike, came out and met with me one warm June afternoon, and took a set of plans. He came back a week later to discuss his bid. With him, he brought his two lovely, well-behaved, children. While Mike went over his "bid" with us, the kids went over the house. With a vengeance. One of them picked up a broom that I had been using to sweep the front porch. She proceeded to thwack the walls and living room window with the broom handle. I had to gently suggest that she not do that by taking the broom away from her. Before I could "gently suggest" otherwise, the other child punched his fist through the screen door. Mike, intent on selling us on his bid, didn't even notice. I did, though. That screen will be fifteen minutes, twenty five dollars, and a trip to Home Depot to fix. I spent more time attempting to discipline his kids than I did looking at the bid. Mike has about $27,000 in his bid for demolition. He could just turn the two kids loose on the house for an afternoon and the demo would be done.
While his kids were destroying the house, he gave us the estimate, and I flipped quickly to the bottom line. Several times. It was about $205,000. I remarked to Mike about the cost -- hiding the disbelief in my voice with a feigned cordiality -- and how that seemed to be quite a bit higher than we had anticipated. He told me that in my neighborhood, with housing values being what they are, that he thought the price was very reasonable. "Hmmmm," I thought to myself. With the existing mortgage, plus this remodel cost, we'll be upside down on the house before construction even starts. If we ever sold it, we would literally have to pay someone to take it from us. I was trepidacious, to say the least. Leisa was a bit more bothered than was I. In fact, her head exploded after Mike and his kids were gone. It was quite a mess.
During our meeting, Mike talked a lot about his "design team," and how he wanted them to come and help us. He had an interior designer who was going to help us with the inside, even though we'd told him several times that we would be handling the painting and window coverings, for example. His superintendent was going to help us outside. He was very forceful in trying to set up appointments for these folks to come to the house and check stuff out. I kept thinking of the Borg in Star Trek, and how they would tell people that "resistance is futile" before they were absorbed into the collective. If we didn't fight, we would be absorbed into Mike's collective.
Without further ado, I present, for your reading enjoyment, unedited, Mike's bid. And by the way, this isn't me shouting. The entire proposal was in caps. My snotty comments are in red, correctly spelled and properly capitalized. Please make proper allowances for grammar, as I'm writing in personal web page mode, rather than business mode.
6-12-02
DAVID BELL
1525 WEST WILLETA [My street name was misspelled.]
PHOENIX, AZ 85007
ALL SUPPLIES, MATERIALS AND LABOR FOR JOB ARE INCLUDED IN PRICE UNLESS IT IS AN [sic] DIRECT ALLOWANCE FOR BUDGET PURPOSES.
DEMOLITION
DEMOLITION OF EXISTING CMU BLOCK WALL (BACK WALL) OF HOUSE,. [Comma
and period in original. The plans don't call for the back wall of the house to
be demolished. And even if they did, that wall is brick, not block.]
EXCAVATION OF BASEMENT WALLS
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF ALL DRYWALL FROM WALLS AND CEILINGS, DOORS, BASE TRIMS & CASING [Okay, first thing. There is no drywall in my house. It's all plaster lath. Secondly, the plans don't call for any removal of wall surfaces, except between the kitchen and dining room, and that wall is being demolished. When I asked him about this, he told me this would be necessary to get to the electrical wiring. I mentioned that I had a crawl space and an attic, and that the wiring could be done through either of those two areas. This fact had no impact on Mike.]
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF AIR DUCTS AND FURNACE [I don't have a furnace. I have a wall heater in the living room. There are air ducts for the swamp cooler, removal of which isn't mentioned in the estimate.]
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF ALL PLUMBING FIXTURES
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF EXISTING ELECTRICAL SYSTEM [I guess this is where he also removes all my drywall.]
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF ROOF, SHEATHING, AND TRUSSES
[This
is an interesting one.
The plans don't call for "complete"
removal of the roof. The demolition plans specified that the addition and
cellar, as well as the carport were to go away. The addition had a shingled
roof, which obviously would be demolished. "Complete," however, would
lead one to believe that he was taking the roof off of the entire house. This
doesn't show up on the plans. Nothing else was to be touched.
In fact, the City of Phoenix
Historic Preservation people would probably have an aneurysm if Mike removed the
roof. My roof is made of rolled copper, and is one of about twenty such roofs in the city, and is a
contributing element to the historic nature of the house.
See the line item below where he talks about trusses and hip joints.]
COMPLETE REMOVAL OF INSULATION [There was no insulation in the back room.]
REMOVAL OF TWO TREES [Plans called for three, but who's counting?]
(ALL MATERIAL TO BE HAULED AWAY BY CONTRACTOR) [That's
good. I'd hate to try and sneak it into the dumpster out back, little by little.]
$27,367.00
PLUMBING
ROUGH IN ONE WATER CLOSET, ONE SHOWER, AND ONE LAVATORIES [Per
plans, we have TWO bathrooms.]
ROUGH IN FOR NEW SIN, [sic. Hmmmm. A new "sin." Are we up to eight now? Let's see, there's gluttony and sloth and avarice... Is the new one being a Republican?] ONE HOSE BIB, AND ONE REFRIGERATOR ICEMAKER LINE
RUN NEW WASTE/VENT LINE AND TIE INTO MAIN SEWER LINE
SUMP PUMP
ROUGH FOR NEW TANKLESS WATER HEATER
(INSTALL TWO NEW CLEANOUTS FOR SEWER ONE AT KITCHEN SINK AND OTHER ONE OUTSIDE OF HOUSE AT NEW ADDITION.) [Plans don't show this, but I'm glad he's thinking.]
$15,571.00
EXCAVATION & CONCRETE
SITE PREP FOR BASEMENT RETAINING WALL FOOTING
EXCAVATE AND REMOVE MATERIAL FOR FOOTINGS AT REAR OF HOUSE FOR MONOLITHIC POUR [Plans don't show a monolithic pour.]
PROVIDE FOUR (4") INCHES OF ABC AND FOUR (4") INCHES OF CONCRETE FOR NEW SLABS
#4 REBAR REINFORCING IN FOOTINGS AND #4 REBAR PINNED TO EXISTING CONCRETE SLAB [Ummm, I don't have an "existing concrete slab," I have a crawl space and a foundation. Now, let's just say for sake of argument that what Mike meant is that he's going to pin the slab to the "existing foundation." Oops. This doesn't work, either, because the slab is going to be ten feet below the foundation. I know, it's trivial, but it again demonstrates he can't read a set of blueprints.]
PROVIDE ALL ANCHOR BOLTS AND REBAR FOR MASON
[It doesn't show in the estimate, but Mike kept trying to get me to go with some insulated block system called ARA Block. I told him several times that the architects had employed a structural engineer, who called for specific materials, (12" block on the north wall, 8" block on the other three basement walls), but he wouldn't be dissuaded.]
$9,656.00
MASONRY
NEW BACK EXTERIOR BASEMENT WALL [All the basement walls,
plural, are masonry. Is he only giving us one basement wall?]
TEN OPENINGS WITH LINTELS [Okay,
this is one I don't really understand. A lintel a piece of flat steel that is
used above a window or door opening in masonry, which serves to support the
masonry above the opening. We have identically TWO windows in the basement.
Q:
Where do the other eight openings show up?
A: Upstairs, where the
material of choice is wood, and lintels aren't used. See the slump block
discussion, infra.]
BOND BEAM AND REBAR
$17,208.00
FRAMING
FOUR NEW BEARING POSTS AND 2X6 WALL AT CENTER OF HOUSE [I
just plain don't understand what this is about.]
TEN FOUR (4') FOOT 2" X 8" HEADERS [For a $27,000 section, he specs out ten pieces of wood, forty board feet, probably about $30 at Home Depot.]
2" X 2" FURRING FOR NEW SLUMP BLOCK WALLS *(METAL STUD FURRING MAY BE USED IN LIEU OF WOOD) [Okay, this one has me baffled. The plans don't call for slump block anywhere. I don't know where Mike came up with the idea that slump block has a place in the remodel. See "lintels," supra.]
FRAME NEW 2" X 4" WALL IN KITCHEN EAST WALL [The east wall in the kitchen stays. Why is there a new 2x4 wall here?]
ROOF TRUSSES AND ROOF SHEATHING (OSB 5/8")
31-34' TRUSSES [Trusses
and Hip Jacks. The plans don't show these anywhere. Especially thirty one of
them. In the new roof area, that would be a truss every eight inches or so. The
carport and dining patio don't have trusses. Or hip jacks. What
has Mike been smoking?]
61-6' OR 9' HIP JACKS [Plans don't mention hip jacks.
Especially on a flat roof.]
1- 37' GIRDER TRUSS [The addition is about twenty five
feet by twenty five feet. Where does a thirty seven foot truss figure into
this?]
7-20' OVERFRAME TRUSSES [I don't have any idea what an
"overframe truss" is. Mike probably doesn't, either. A Google search
for this term returns five sites, one of which is this one. I looked on the
other four and couldn't find a good definition.]
$27,430.00
ELECTRICAL
COMPLETE REWIRE OF HOUSE INCLUDING
SWITCHES DECORA WHITE [A $19,000 bid item, and Mike's detailing $100 worth of switches. I love it.]
LIGHT FIXTURES *(CAN LIGHTS COME WITH STANDARD BAFFLE WHITE)
GFI RECEPTACLES [Kitchen, Upstairs Bath, Downstairs Bath. Three $20 receptacles in a $19,000 bid item. As H. Ross Perot used to say, I suppose, "The devil is in the details."]
RECEPTACLES STANDARD WHITE [$100.00]
4 EHXHAUST [sic] FANS (HALL BATH, TWO MASTER BATH, KITCHEN & LAUNDRY) CIRCUITS [Plans call for two fans. Am I just nitpicking? And the laundry room has a SoloTube, not an exhaust fan.]
3 PHONE JACKS [Plans call for six.]
1 RANGE CIRCUIT
1 DEDICATED 20 AMP LINE FOR REFRIGERATOR
UNDERGROUND FEED FROM POWER POLE [This was discussed with the architects, but discarded due to cost. Not in plans.]
$18,600.00
STRUCTURED WIRING
[This
is my favorite section. Aside from the cable jacks, absolutely none of this
stuff appears in the plans. And cable jacks should only be a couple of hundred
bucks to wire.]
COMPLETE HOUSE ALARM SYSTEM (MONITORING TO BE OWNERS RESPONSIBILTY [sic])
[Nowhere in plans.]
CAT 5 STRUCTURED WIRING FOR INTERNET (THREE RECEPTACLES) [Nothing about this in the plans, either. I had planned on doing this myself. I am, after all, a network specialist, and as such, am capable of running a few feet of Cat 5e cable. And I'd probably run it to at least five ports.]
CABLE RUNS FOR THREE OUTLETS [We're actually going with satellite, which is a different grade of cable. And the plans call for four outlets.]
WHOLE HOUSE CENTRAL VACUUM SYSTEM
*(RECEPTACLES IN MASTER BEDROOM, ONE IN EACH BEDROOM , ONE IN LIVING ROOM, ONE
IN GARAGE)**(ACCESSORIES TO BE PURCHASED BY HOMEOWNER) [This
is my favorite line on the entire estimate. A whole house vacuum system.
Absolutely nowhere in the
plans. When I asked about this, Mike's response was, "They're really nice to
have." I just didn't have any response to that. He probably didn't notice
that this system was going
out to a detached garage, to boot. The garage isn't in the plans because we
aren't even touching it during the remodel. Yet he's going to install a vacuum
system.
And somewhere, somehow, the asterisk has become a punctuation mark. Cool. I
wonder if this will be incorporated into the grammar checking module of the next
version of MS Office.]
$7,800.00
DRYWALL
NEW 1/2 INCH DRYWALL INSTALLED THROUGHOUT ENTIRE HOUSE WALLS AND CEILING [See
above, where we discuss the fact that our PLASTER LATH isn't coming off in the
first place.]
NEW 5/8 INCH FIREWALL IN GARAGE [Again, the garage shows up nowhere in the plans.]
THREE COAT FINISH WITH ROUND CORNERBEAD ON WALLS AND WINDOWS [Ummm, the windows in the addition are supposed to match those in the existing house, which means they have four inch molding around them, not round cornerbead.]
KNOCKDOWN FINISH
$15,676.00
ROOFING
ROOF RECEIVES 30# FELT AND 3D ARCHITECTUAL [sic] THREE TAB 40 YEAR SHINGLE (COLOR TO
BE DETERMINED BY HOMEOWNER) [Plans call for shingles on
part of roof, foam on the flat part.]
ROOF FLASHING AND VENTS TO BE PAINTED
$10,621.00
INSULATION
[I
love this section almost as much as I love the "structured wiring"
section. Mike has almost eight thousand dollars listed for insulation. I could buy every
roll of Owens Corning pink fiberglass insulation in Home Depot for eight
grand. And still have enough left over for a plasma TV. Or two. This has to be a
typo. Come to think of it, the whole ESTIMATE has to be a typo!]
CEILINGS TO HAVE R-30 BATT INSULATION
EXTERIOR WALLS WHERE RUFFED [sic] OUT WILL HAVE BLOWN IN SEALED CAVITIES
BATHROOM WALLS WITH HAVE R-13 BATT INSULATION
$7874.00
TOTAL FOR BUILD
OUT $157,803.00
TAX
$7660.00
$165,463.00
DIRECT ALLOWANCES (FOR USE TO GAIN PROSPECTIVE BUDGET OF OVERALL JOB)
CABINETS
$7250.00 [Our exact price from Home Depot was around
$5000. Maybe he's including installation. Dunno. You'd think that if he calls
out $100 worth of light switches, he'd have $1700 worth of cabinet setting in
the bid.]
PAINT
$4300.00 [We specifically stated that we would paint the inside of the house,
and provide the paint. Is he spending four grand on paint for the outside of the
house? Allowances generally don't include the labor, so maybe he's getting the
contractor's discount at the same store where he buys his insulation.]
APPLIANCES
$9000.00
[I enjoy this item almost as much as "structured wiring." Leisa and I shopped for appliances, and submitted a list of what we needed
prior to soliciting any bids. On our list appeared a dishwasher, microwave, gas stove,
and a disposal--approximate value $3000. When I pointed this out to Mike and asked about the other $6000, he told
us that he could hook us up with a very nice SubZero industrial refrigerator.
Leisa and I both have refrigerators currently, and plan on using my refrigerator in
the new place, leaving hers to convey with her house. We didn't really need to spend
six grand to keep a ten dollar bottle of wine and leftover pizza cold when we have a perfectly
adequate refrigerator already.]
COUNTERTOPS
$5600.00 [Our fixture list specifies granite countertops
at a price of $3000, installed. Where does the other $2600 come from.]
TILE
$4500.00
FLOORING
$4500.00
PLUMBING FIXTURES $4000.00
$39,6500.00
TOTAL WITH DIRECT ALLOWANCES $204,613.00
ITEMS NOT IN ESTIMATE
CONSTRUCTION PERMITS & FEES
SPRINKLER SYSTEM IF REQUIRED
EXTERIOR FENCE ADDITIONS OR CHANGES
LANDSCAPING, WALLS OR PLANTERS
Here ends Mike's proposal and begins further discussion
My comments in red attempt to call out the errors in this bid. Some might feel that I'm nitpicking about the spelling. I don't think I am. This is Mike's representation of his business, and how he does business. If he can't trouble himself with the details of spelling the word "exhaust" correctly (or, at the minimum, running spell check), how do I think he's going to handle the hundreds of details that matter during the remodel. I realize that not everybody can spell or write good [sic], but it's my personal belief that if you're presenting stuff to clients, there should be some minimum standard of care employed in the proposal.
If a professional comes with good references, and I've seen his work, I can make allowances for spelling and grammar errors. But when my first impression of a person or company is based on a bid this sloppy, it hurts their chances. In this case, the contractor has not only shot himself in the foot, but he's taken a .45 auto and emptied the clip into his foot, then reloaded and emptied the second clip into his other foot. A wound that bad is generally fatal. I checked his license with the Registrar of Contractors. He's been in business for about two years. He didn't provide any references. He told us that he's worked for other contractors for several years. I've got a friend who used to work for a contractor. He was a foreman for a company that built new homes, same as Mike described his prior experience. My friend described his job in terms of punch lists: "I go through the house with the customer and put tape on things the workers didn't do correctly, listening to customers complain." Is this Mike's past experience, putting a piece of tape on something? Because it sure couldn't be experience in construction estimating. Mike didn't provide any basis by which to judge his work, other than this bid, and the way his kids behaved.
I discussed the estimate with the architect, Bob. He appeared to be as amused about the estimate as I was. He looked at the plans and at Mike's estimate and trimmed about sixty grand off the thing in the time it took to drink one beer.
Mike called me several times after our meeting. I avoided these calls. The messages he left concerned "firming up the bid." Neither Leisa nor I could understand why we needed to "firm up the bid." Shouldn't the bid have been "firm" before it was presented to us? Bob told me while he was looking at Mike's bid that a typical way to estimate plumbing costs is related to the cost of the fixtures, for instance. If we decided that we needed to trim some money, we could have chosen less expensive fixtures, which should drop the plumber's cost correspondingly. But that would be the case if the bid had some basis in reality to begin with. There was no way, short of starting over, that Mike could've "firmed up" his bid.
Finally one morning at about 7am he called and I took a deep breath and answered. He wanted to tell me the name of the block system he wanted to use instead of regular concrete block, as well as discuss his bid and get us to sign a contract. He didn't get very far into the conversation. I had started to type a letter to him a day or two after receiving this "thing," detailing what was wrong with the bid, but gave up after I hit three pages. Much of my letter appears above in red. I'm not much of a Biblical scholar, but I think the Bible talks about kicking someone when he's down, and cautions one not to. (Maybe it's not the Bible. It might be Don Henley or the Offspring, I'm not sure. Or maybe it was Tyler Durden.)
I mentioned the Borg and resistance earlier. Like Picard resisted the Borg Queen, I resisted Mike's attempts to get me to sign his hallucinatory contract. Thank God!
Mike called me to discuss his bid. The call came early in the morning, was very brief, and went something like this:
D: Hello.
M: Hi, this is Mike B.
D: Hi, Mike.
M: I was wondering if you had a chance to look over the proposal. I want to get my design team out there right away to start working on this. I also found the link to the product I want to use for the basement walls.
[He asked if I had a pen and proceeded to give me a web address. I copied it down and continued. I don't know what I did with it, though, otherwise Dave the Completist would provide a link to it here.]
D: Yeah, that's good. Ummm, [deep breath] yours is the first bid we have, but based on your bid, I think we're going with someone else.
[plunging forward] I have a few problems with your bid. A couple of examples: First, you mention "slump block." The plans don't call for slump block anywhere. The house is to be stucco. Second, you talk about "31-34' trusses," as well as complete removal of the roof. This isn't anywhere in the plans.
These are just a couple of things I've noticed. To tell you the truth, in reviewing your estimate, I don't think that you even looked at the plans when you bid this job, and that's the problem. If we don't have any confidence in you to look at the plans before you start the job, we surely don't have any confidence that you'll look at them while you're doing the job.
M: [tersely] Uh, yeah, okay.
D: Have a good day.
M: [Hangs up the phone]
D: Long exhalation of breath.
A month or three later, I was lying in bed watching this horrible show called The Home Hunter one Sunday morning. This Plastic Surgery Disaster Chick interviews developers, and talks about new housing developments. Obviously, nothing else was on. I was half paying attention when I noticed a list of remodel items, superimposed over pictures of palatial rooms, followed by Mike's name and phone number. My jaw just about hit the floor. Caveat Emptor, suckers!
A guy named "Dave" gave us our second estimate, which was the exact opposite of Mike's. Where Mike identified all sorts of things he was going to do, as well as costs, the second estimate was simply a dollar amount: $145,000. No line items. Nothing. The proposal said it included "everything on the plans." It was like going to Pep Boys and having someone tell you it'll be $900 to fix your car, but not telling you what they were going to do, other than to get rid of the noises you hear. The bid was, however, sixty thousand dollars less than Mike's bid, and pretty close to where we thought the bids should be coming in, so I actually considered it, at least until Leisa saw it.
The lump sum figure irked Leisa. "First of all," she said, "no bank is going to give us this much money without seeing what's going on." Jobs are billed in stages, and the bank would look at how much Dave had in for concrete and block, for instance, before releasing a draw for that stage of the construction.
Second reason she didn't like the bid concerned our finances. If we had decided that we needed to cut ten grand out of the job, for instance, there was no indication as to where we could easily do this. If electrical costs were high could we eliminate some of the can lights in the "Feng Shui" circle of light in the master bedroom? Could the patio or carport be redesigned? Dunno.
The second guy's name was Dave, which I related to on a deeply personal level, but in the long run, besides giving us a bid shrouded in mystery, he was just kind of creepy. He never took his sunglasses off, even indoors, and he kept talking about some software application that would allow him, his subs, the architects, and me to instant message each other, provided we were all running the same thousand dollar software package. Don't need that. (Again, I don't recall the product name, otherwise I'd link.)
The third guy--Scott--actually had a fairly reasonable bid, which was about a thousand bucks off of the second guy. He actually seemed like a fairly reasonable dude. He was the only contractor who actually had his subcontractors out to the house, looking at the site to more accurately bid the job. Had Mark not accepted the job, we probably would've gone with him. He had line items, didn't wear sunglasses, and actually called several times to clarify with me details in the plans.
And the winning bid is...Mark Olson.
We ended up going with Mark, as we'd always hoped. Mark's bid was several thousand bucks higher than the second or third guy, but several thousand bucks is the difference between a Chrysler and a Dodge. With a Dodge, you get Naugahyde upholstery and the Dukes of Hazzard, but with a Chrysler, you get Ricardo Montalban and "fine Corinthian leather." We upgraded to the kind of service we knew Mark would provide.
