Wedding FAQ's

Q: Your wedding is in May. What if it's hot? What should I wear?
A: Wear shorts. We don't care. We want you to have a good time and be comfortable. No sports jerseys or T-shirts, though.

Q: You're having a sit-down dinner. Will there be a kid's menu?
A: Only if your babysitter provides one.

Q: I'm afraid of downtown Phoenix and never go there. Where's the University Club located?
A: It's across the street from the Heard Museum. Follow the link, below, for driving directions to the University Club.
   

Directions to 39 E Monte Vista Rd
Phoenix, AZ 85004-1434

Q: I'm coming from out of town. Are there nearby accomodations?

A: Okay, we've totally shifted direction on recommending a place to stay for out-of-town visitors. We paid a visit this afternoon to the historic Hotel San Carlos, which is at the corner of Central and Monroe, downtown. It was great. The hotel was built in 1928, and one of the sayings back in the day was, "they loved the San Carlos so much, they built Phoenix around it." The rooms are all nicely furnished and each room is different, as opposed to a Holiday Inn, which looks the same whether you're in San Diego or Saint Louis. It's a really neat hotel. Leisa and I toured several rooms and booked the Governor's Suite for ourselves for Friday and Saturday nights.

We'd like to suggest that if you're coming from out-of-town and are looking for a place to stay, that you consider the San Carlos. The hotel has held a block of rooms for anyone in our party, and is offering a great deal for anyone who also would like to book a room. A standard room with two queen beds is available for $69 per night. A two-room suite is $99 per night. Regular prices are about $102 and $150, respectively. Leisa's been worried about where we're going to go with everyone visiting from out of town, as we're not sure the house will be done, or that we'll even be living there yet. One look at the pool on the roof, though, and the problem was solved. It's a great place for a party the night before the wedding, as well as a great place to take the party after the reception is over. The guy that was showing us the place told us that we can do anything we want, as long as glass isn't involved.

I previously had a link to another hotel that was a couple of bucks cheaper, but I've taken that link down in an attempt to steer all of our out-of-town guests to the same place we're going to be.

If you'd like to make a reservation, call them at 866.253.4121. You'll have to mention that you're with our party to get the special rates. Leisa usually does all the talking at these places, so they may not even know my name. The package is probably under the name "Bullard." Don't use their online reservation system (which is actually pretty snappy!) to book your room, as you won't get the discount.

See you at the pool Friday evening!

Wedding Paraphernalia

Cute little wedding dress from David's Bridal

Leisa and Brittany went to the wedding dress store January 9th. Leisa called me about eight times from the store to ask me about stuff. She had a dress she liked and wanted to know if she should buy it. In the time I've been with Leisa, I've learned at least one thing: she's an impulse shopper, and won't like tomorrow what she thought was cute today. Now it's another trip to the store to stand in line to return the cute little purse or sweater or top and get something else. The wedding dress place has a "no return" policy, though, so if she decided the dress wasn't as cute as she initially thought it was, her special day would be forever marred by the fact that she'd be stuck wearing something she didn't like. I suggested that I come and look at the dress on Friday, which I did.

She had considered three dresses Thursday evening. One of them had all that gauzy stuff on the bottom, which would be fine if we thought gunfire might erupt at the reception and we'd have to bandage someone. The University Club is a nice place, though, and has a "no firearms on premises" policy, so that dress was dismissed while it was still hanging on the rack. That left two dresses. The first one she tried on was the one she was prepared to buy the night before. The saleschick told her she looked great in it, but I didn't like it that much. It was a nice dress, but I think it would've made a better silk nightgown. The second one she tried on was very nice and I told her to have them ring it up. There's a picture of it above, but you lose some of the detail. I told Leisa that white wasn't appropriate for her, or for our wedding, but she said she didn't care about the whole "Only Wear White Between Memorial Day and Labor Day" rule. I apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended by Leisa's disdain for the rules.

Taking a guy shopping--although painful for the guy--is a good thing. Maybe it's simply because they feel like doofuses in a wedding dress store and want to get to the safety of a Best Buy as soon as possible, but guys are quick and decisive about what to buy. Leisa would've agonized over those dresses for weeks, continuing to thumb through magazines, click through websites, and shuffle through bridal shows until her feet bled. I thought, "the dress looked great. You look great in it. Let's get it." And by the way, I've always heard that the groom can't see the bride in her wedding dress until the wedding. I'm here to say that's wrong: a wedding dress doesn't make a chick invisible or anything. I was able to see Leisa just fine.

Prior to going to the store, we went to the University Club and asked Helga, the wedding coordinator, a whole bunch of questions about canapés and punch and table layout and linens and photography and cake tables and tiers and seating and cake flavors and candles and microphones and arches and judges and some other stuff, too. We have a whole bunch of answers, now, and they can be plugged into the wedding spreadsheet. And Leisa was admonished by Helga never to wear jeans to the University Club again.

Leisa loves it, but my brain is about to explode from dealing with wedding stuff.

Leisa is going to the bridal show at the civic plaza on Sunday with a friend of hers. Hours and hours of looking at all sorts of wedding related stuff. I'll probably stay home and paint. I dodged that bullet.

Update: I didn't dodge any bullets. I've been hearing about this stuff since the show. Fliers about Flowers. Brochures about balloons. Catalogs about candles. Leisa talks in her sleep about two things: the wedding and work. As soon as she wakes up, she's talking about the wedding. "Oh, look, Baby. I got this cute little ribbon and I can put it around the handle of this cute little basket. Did I show you this picture of __________." Bags of stuff from every craft store in the valley. Even though there's no gas, electric, phone, or water service at 1525, I'm seriously considering moving back over there a few days a week so I can get some peace and quiet. Hi, Cupcake!

January 27th: Leisa had an appointment with the "balloon lady" on Saturday, and an appointment with the first of the floral chicks this evening. She's been lurking at Michael's and Old World Market, picking up stuff with which she'll create centerpieces. I enjoy hearing about these things, much as I enjoy watching my bald spot enlarge.

February 17th: Valentine's Day was nice, but today was a miserable day. We went out to various stores in an attempt to populate The Registry. As previously noted, L is not satisfied with the Amazon registry. DVDs just don't seem like a wedding present to her. She's more interested in Pasta Makers and Food Processors (not, I'd like to point out, because she's going to use them, but rather because I'll look "cute" making dinner for her with them). Consequently, we went "shopping."

Let's talk about shopping for a minute. I'm a guy. I go into a store knowing what I want. "I'm going to go to Costco and buy One Hour Photo. I'll be back in in about forty minutes." It's a twelve minute drive, three minutes to park, eleven minutes to get into the store and get the movie and pay, five minutes in the food court, then twelve minutes back to the house. I go to Costco and buy the DVD, eat a hot dog in the food court, then come home. Forty-three minutes. Or, perhaps, "I'm going to Best Buy to get Justin a charger for his phone and pick up Cinema Paradiso," which was released this week. I don't say, "Hmmmm. I wonder what they're selling over at Best Buy. I should wander in and browse for an hour or two." Now, please take a moment to review my comments above, about the wedding dress and Leisa being an impulse shopper before you proceed.

Impulse shopping: that's what the Population of the Registry consisted of. We wandered through Target, fingering the merchandise, comparing patterns on stuff. I went to the snack bar and bought popcorn and a Coke and ate as we wandered. I spent more time in Target on Monday afternoon than I've spent in there, total, in the past six months. If I tried to steer the conversation and shopping to the electronics area, for instance, I was sharply reprimanded that we didn't "need" a 2 gigahertz cordless phone, and was steered back to the small electrics area of the store, where we "need" a rice cooker. Then we had to go to Pottery Barn (and I'm deliberately not linking to them). This is where my head finally exploded. The stuff in the Pottery Barn is nice to look at in someone else's house, but I just can't justify having it in mine. First, I think it's w..a..y overpriced. $1800 for a chair and $600 for an ottoman. Spend $2200 for a place to sit and you won't have any money left to buy DVDs to watch as you sit in your chair. (For some reason, this crap is a several hundred bucks cheaper online. I wonder if the Biltmore PB will price match themselves.) And let's say you have some money left over after buying the chair. They have a flatware set for $200. An alert to anyone who's coming to the wedding---if flatware ends up on the list, don't get it for us. Most of our current flatware ends up in the garbage disposal at least once a week. Hit the garbage disposal switch and you know that you're not just grinding up leftover Chicken Helper--there's something else in there that just doesn't belong. The children just dump food in the sink, and with it whatever utensil they've used to eat with, then don't run the disposal. I turn on the disposal and grind the food and the fork. It's cheap flatware, so I don't care. My head would explode, though, if $200 flatware was clanging around in the disposal. I've always said, "Pizza makes its own plate." I'd like to expand on that, if I may: "Your teeth make their own flatware." If they show up on the registry and if you choose to bring a gift to the wedding, please don't bring either spoons or plates.

The second issue I have with shopping at the Barn is that most of the stuff is just decorative knick knacks. We have no idea how our house is to be furnished, yet we're picking out decorations? Cart before the horse. I grew more and more frustrated as I continued to hear, "oh, Baby, isn't this such a cute __________? Wouldn't this red _________ look cute in the kitchen." Get the PB catalog and fill in the blank. (Programming note: we haven't chosen the countertops yet, we haven't painted yet, we haven't chosen window coverings. We haven't done anything but select some cabinets, but we know that a red telephone would look "cute" in the kitchen. I'd like to point out that when I suggested a practical, cordless phone at Target, I was hooted at. When we saw a garish red, impractically-corded phone at Pottery Barn, though, it was something that would look "cute" in the kitchen.

I desperately needed some "directed" shopping. Some "guy" shopping. I absented myself from the situation and walked next door to Borders, where I purchased the new Hunter S. Thompson book, Kingdom of Fear, and 2600 magazine, the Hacker Quarterly. (In attempting to link to Borders, I find that they are an online partner of Amazon, hence the fact that my link seems funky in pointing to Amazon.) I needed some nice, directed, non-impulse shopping to calm my nerves. It was a surgical mission. I was in and out of Borders in about ten minutes. Leisa came in after me, noticed me in line, and started doing what she does best: browsing. All of a sudden (ten minutes later) she noticed I was no longer in line, and had, in fact, left the store looking for her.

After we hooked up, she suggested we go to Cost Plus World Market because they have this "cute" table that she'd like for the living room. Fortunately, I was driving and we did not stop. We ended up at the Hard Rock cafe, where I spent $50 and ate but a hamburger. I wasn't hungry, as I'd maximized my food dollars and spent $2 to eat at Target. Why did I spend twenty five times that at Hard Rock? Shoot me, for I'm just stupid.

And for all this fuss and bother, do we have a registry yet? Nope. Check out the DVDs on Amazon while you're waiting.

Over and out.

February 22, 2003

Leisa is out populating the registry by herself today. I'm here, typing this. We're both very happy!

Here's a picture of what the bedroom floor looks like. It just keeps expanding every weekend, as Leisa gets more "stuff" for the wedding. The big black box in the upper right is my subwoofer. All of the plastic bags add an extra dimension when I'm watching a film or listening to music, as the subwoofer makes them buzz like a kazoo. Everything else is here is wedding stuff. Lower left is the "cute little basket," in which wedding guests may drop cards. The big white box has sample balloons from the balloon chick. It's also got a cake knife and server, invitations, a guest book and pen, and some other stuff that I can't recall that we got from the Costco printing center. The yellow/orange wine box has candle holders and candles in it. I don't know what's in all of the bags. You can see the sample centerpiece toward the back of the picture. You can also see a dresser on the left and a chest of drawers at the top of the photo. I keep reminding Leisa that we're moving into a small house, and a smaller bedroom, and that we're only going to have room for the chest of drawers. She doesn't like hearing that and pouts for hours. I think she's in denial and we need to do an intervention.

February 26, 2003

Leisa had her fitting for her wedding dress today. They wanted to get her measurements. A tape was produced and measurements were taken. 36-28-41. Forty One!!!! Leisa was stunned and insisted on having another measurement at home. "They measured me with pants on," she cried. "I can't be that fat." We measured, and a great sigh of relief escaped her lips when she lost three inches and came in at a respectable thirty-eight inches.

March 2003

Most of the "heavy lifting" has been done. Which is a good thing, since Leisa is wicked busy at work and just sits on the couch and weeps when she gets home every evening. I've been addressing envelopes.

We did spend one Sunday afternoon furniture shopping, though. World Market had some cute little nightstands on sale on Sunday. (Does everyone already see where this is going to end up?) Leisa had previously looked at them and wanted to buy them. I told her no. But now they were on sale so I had to go look at them. I did and we bought them. Now that fifty percent of the people in the car were in a furniture buying mood, we had to run over to the house and measure all of the wall space in the master bedroom so that we could find a suitable dresser.

We ended up at Pruitt's. I remember hating Pruitt's when I was short, back in 1968. Mom and Dad would go there on Sunday afternoon. I usually stayed in the car and read a book. Now I'm old and I spend my Sundays at Pruitt's, only I don't have the luxury of staying in the car with the windows down and reading. We wandered all around the place. I saw a few club chairs I liked, but most of the stuff seemed to be just big and cheaply-made. Leisa saw a dresser that she kind of liked, but it didn't do anything for me. But of course, I couldn't wait to get out of the place. As before, I needed directed shopping, so we went to Costco to buy a book on staircases and hallways that I had seen at a different Costco a few days before. They were out, but I did buy a book on Shakespeare, a cookbook for Ribs, and a suspense novel. All impulse purchases!

Then we went home and I made pizza.