"Leisa has achieved exceptionally well in all areas. She is a mature, consistent child in everything she does. She should make a concerted effort to 'speak up' in class for she has much to offer."

She still has a lot to offer, but she no longer hesitates to "speak up." What changes thirty five years will bring.

And in the interest of fairness, I'll now make fun of myself. I purchased the movie "Drumline" last week. Leisa and Brittany were watching it one evening. I remembered that I had scanned in a few pictures of myself several years ago. I found a picture of me in my band uniform in either ninth or tenth grade. Bear Creek Senior High School. Before there was "Drumline," there was "Clarinetline." I showed Brittany and Leisa this photograph and they couldn't contain their hollow, mocking laughter. Neither could Justin, who saw it a little while later.

Either Mom or Grandma took this. I look at this and am immediately stunned by how mannered, yet risky, the composition was, especially for photography in the seventies. Look how the green, gold and white of the band uniform play off the similar colors in the Christmas tree. It's as if the photographer was painting a portrait with a limited palate, and wondered what to do with a bunch of green paint after painting the main subject. The photographer was also a risk-taker. The off-center subject and tilt of the camera predate the early edginess of "Law and Order" by twenty years. The way I'm standing directly in front of the chair looks as if I was just sitting around in my band uniform, waiting for a photographer to wander by, so I could leap to my feet and snap to attention so the photograph could be made. Yet the pose of my feet at parade rest suggest that the photograph was posed. The inclusion of the card table and other chair in the right and left foreground, respectively, lends an immediacy to the photograph: "No, I can't wait even a moment to get this clutter out of the way. I must snap your photograph this very instant!" And dig the blue carpeting.

Here's another. This is my "Six Million Dollar Man" look:

Yes, kids, that's a leisure suit. I think this was taken by the same photographer, as we have a similar foreground inclusion in this photo. Note the hand in the lower right corner. This was my grandparent's house. The heavy jackets on the chair point to wintertime, and the festive tablecloth narrows it down to Christmas. I drink a lot to numb the memory of this particular clothing choice.

These two photos were scanned as the beginning of the "David is a Dork" project. I had already completed the "Gary is a Dork" project. For those who aren't aware, Gary is my younger, cuter brother. He also makes more money than I do and is a better cook than I am.

I never completed the "David is a Dork" website, but these two photos should be a hint of what the site would have been like.