April Fools

Week Nineteen was April Fool's week. Mark had some fun with us; the plumber had even more!

We're doing a tankless cold water heater system in the house. It's a demand system, which means there's no 40 gallon tank taking up space somewhere in the house. Instead, there's a small copper coil that's heated as water passes through. It doesn't start heating until it senses a demand, i.e. someone turns on a faucet and requests hot water. We'd originally planned on using an electric demand water heater, but Mark talked to a mechanical engineer friend of his, who said the electrical requirements for an electric water heater were phenomenal. Like about 120 amps out of a 200 amp service. Shut off all the other major appliances if you even plan on running the dishwasher at the same time you take a shower.

Mark suggested a gas heater instead, and after reviewing stuff on the internet, I concurred. (And I do mean "I," as Leisa is busy planning the wedding that's five weeks away and is leaving these details to me.) It's cool, as the heater can be mounted outside, and it won't take up any space in the house. Mark called me Tuesday morning and asked what I thought about the gas heater. I told him I thought it would be okay. He said this brand of heater is available locally, and told me that he was on his way to get one. There were two places in town that sold them.

I'm feeling pretty good about the selection, and the decision to go with a gas heater. Mark called me back a little while later and told me that the plumbing supply place wouldn't sell it to him--that they would only sell to a plumber certified by the manufacturer to install the thing. He told me he was going to go to another plumbing place, instead, and see if they'd sell it to him.

Mark called me back an hour or so later and told me that the only thing the second place would do was give him a list of plumbers who are certified to purchase and install the accursed thing. I expressed dismay at this revolting development. Mark then laughed at me and said "April Fool's!" They sold it to him, no questions asked. Mark has this total deadpan delivery into which I totally bought. Now I know how Leisa feels.

As Wink Martindale used to say, "turnabout is fair play." I figured I needed to pull something on Mark. Jim and I went over to the house at about 3:30 the same afternoon to check it out. We found the $1000 water heater sitting next to an open door where any of the homeless guys that wander the alley, searching the dumpsters, could swipe it for the $30 worth of copper it contained. We moved it into the shed. I had plans of calling Mark and asking where it was. I didn't get around to it, but the plumber did it for me. He apparently arrived at the house shortly after Jim and I left and started looking for the water heater. It wasn't where Mark said he left it, and he told Mark he couldn't find it. Mark was worried. The plumber said he'd look in the shed. Mark worried for a few minutes until Tony called him back and said that it was, indeed, in the shed.

That wasn't the only joke, though. The plumber played several more "jokes" on me as the week progressed.

Let's go to the pictures, now, shall we!

	Here's the water heater, next to the missing door. Homeless guys are lining up to steal this bad boy. Into the shed it goes!
	The kids now have a bathtub in their bathroom.
	And Brittany has a water heater in her closet! April Fool! I guess the plumber didn't realize that: a) the water heater is a tankless system and isn't plumbed the same as a 40 gallon heater; and b) that the water heater goes on the outside of the house, not in Brittany's closet. I told Leisa that we had a "problem" with the water heater location. She got upset and expected me to tell her I was joking, but in this case, I couldn't. That made it fun in a different kind of way. And the HVAC guys were in, too, running air conditioning/heating duct.
	The plumber wasn't done joking with us in just the closet, though. He ran some vent pipe in the attic. Unfortunately, though, he ran the pipe directly across the opening for the pull-down staircase. This piece of pipe is perpendicular to the staircase. I don't show it in the picture, but he's also drilled holes in the roof (off the right side of the picture), has a T-joint in another piece of pipe (off the left side of the picture) and is set up to run the vent pipe parallel to the staircase, too. Exactly in the middle of the pull-down staircase. The remaining opening won't even accommodate a U-Haul book box. April fool! You didn't really want to use that opening, did you? This isn't the only April Fools joke involving staircases, though.
	Here I am, standing on the stairs down to the basement. There's about 5'10" of clearance for my 6'1" noggin. Ouch! April Fool! Jim suggests that we mount a piece of angle iron behind the beam at the top, then saw the part that hits my head out of the way. We're also considering putting an arch in the beam. THis will tie in to another idea we have. Directly behind the staircase is the door to the kitchen. The door is coming out, but the doorway remains. Rather than covering the former wall outside the kitchen near the door with drywall, we'd leave the brick wall and the brick arch above the door to the kitchen exposed. There's an arch in the basement in the niche next to the wine cellar. And now an arch in the stairwell. Arches. Continuity. Cool. My dissenting opinion: I think it's cool to duck. It sets you up to think the basement ceiling's going to be really low, then you get into the basement and the ceiling's nine feet high and you're surprised. Leisa doesn't share this viewpoint. I must defer to her. If I know what's good for me. And I'd like to take this opportunity to try and convince you all that the grayish streak across my virile brown hair is due to the flash, but I'm sure you all know otherwise. I'm going gray, due in mostly to the stress of dealing with both the construction and the wedding at the same time. April Fools! I'm just old and gray. Weddings and remodel have nothing to do with it.
	And just because no inspection of the place is complete without a red tag, here's this week's red tag. The inspector, Don, is apparently quite a knucklehead. (Mark has a stronger description for him, but since this is a family site, I'm not going to use it.) Mark called for an inspection of the siding, prior to stuccoing. The city-approved set of plans got wet weeks ago when it rained. The inspector took one look at the water-damaged plans and said he couldn't look at the siding because the plans weren't legible. He red-tagged the job. Mark had to call Bob and have him bring over another set of plans. April Fools from the City of Phoenix!
And on a very cool note, Master Carpenter Chris and his girlfriend, Niki, had a baby this week. Shout outs to baby Jack, (who was actually technically born during Week Eighteen, but since that week was already posted, congratulations are coming this week, instead). Both Mom and the Baby are fine, as is Dad, who said he's got a lot of pictures. I've got a scanner, and will post them here if he'll bring me some! And Greets to my peeps, Grandma Lori and Grandpa Mark!

Here's a picture of the kitchen/dining room after most of the demo is done. I think the wheelbarrow in the dining room is a cool touch, and it has to stay after the remodel is done. I also met with a couple of salesmen from alarm companies right before I took this picture. Alarm systems are a little bit more costly than I anticipated. More on that in weeks to come. Our alarm code will be 3273, which spells out DAVE. Burglarize us now!
Week Twenty is all about electricity. And roofing. And a colossal "joke" from the City of Phoenix. Stay tuned!